Free Webinar Recording: Why Are We Arguing? How the Unconscious Mind Feeds Conflict in Our Lives

By Kristin Schepici on August 20, 2012


Our unconscious bias can often dictate our perceptions and how we manage our relationship. It also can often be the source of our most intransient conflicts because it makes it difficult for us to know what we are really upset by.   By gaining a deeper understanding of the biases that influence our perceptions, we can better manage relationships and resolve conflict.

In this pre-recorded session you will learn:

  • How to recognize unconscious bias in your day to day interactions
  • How to manage bias in order to drive more fruitful, positive interactions
  • Recognize bias driven conflict and techniques for resolving for positive outcomes

About the presenter:

Howard RossHoward J. Ross is a builder of innovations in the field of diversity and inclusion and a unifier of people, organizations, and causes. He is the founder & Chief Learning Officer of Cook Ross Inc. and an advisor to major global educational, corporate, philanthropic, and governmental organizations. Through his unique combination of a personal and system-focused approach, Howard is an advocate for high-performing organizational cultures that advance people, performance, and profits. Howard has served more than 25 years as an influential business consultant to hundreds of organizations across the globe, specializing in leadership, diversity, and organizational transformation.


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About Kristin Schepici

4 comments on “Free Webinar Recording: Why Are We Arguing? How the Unconscious Mind Feeds Conflict in Our Lives
  1. Pam says:

    This is a fascinatingtopic that needs to be addressed. Our brains get involved in so many ways that we are not aware of. Thanks for offering to help sort this out.

  2. Pam says:

    Our brains get involved in so many ways that we are not aware of. Thanks for offering to help sort this out.

  3. CJM says:

    Unfortunately, I won’t be able to participate in the webinar.
    I am in a situation where the person I report to won’t speak directly to me. I get assignments like pulling files, making copies and filing from the Generalist and the HR Manager. Before he decided to demote me in his mind, I would get more challenging & engaging work. I have requested a one-on-one meeting with him but he has not scheduled time to sit with me to discuss anything in months. He and the HR manager gave me a performance review on my not liking to file and ther fact I was an HR manager and now I am an HR Coordinator.
    I have a MBA/HRM. At this point in my life I hadn’t planned to go back to basics but I needed a job at the time and this was offered when I needed a consistent source of income. What should I say and do to get out of this conflict?

  4. Susan Brady says:

    Thank you for commenting CJM. If you are interested in viewing this webinar, we have made it available on-demand above (to view, click the Download Webinar button above).

    Regarding your question, I can’t encourage you to have the conversation without knowing more details about your situation—however, if you do decide to do something about it, I can share a few things that help deal with conflict successfully:

    Come in clear about what a good outcome is for the conversation/situation. Do you have a specific request? If so, ask for what you need to ask, but not before you:
    a. Get curious about what the other person may be thinking and feeling. As tricky as this is, going in assuming you might not understand the full picture can help by giving them a voice too.
    b. Use a skillful method if you ARE planning to give your feedback during the conversation. Here is an approach I use and like:
    i. Ask if it is a good time to connect about something that you are concerned about (if it is, proceed)
    ii. State the specific moment, situation, conversation that upset you (must be something a movie camera could have captured – don’t go general and big picture. Stay specific) e.g.: “this week, when you asked me to file on four differing occasions…”
    iii. Tell them what YOU MADE UP about that situation (this is YOUR story – it is how you saw or experienced the event, it is not something for someone to argue with) e.g.: “I make up that you are asking me to do more administrative tasks and I feel confused by this”
    iv. Ask for what you want “can you share with me what I can do to be assigned more challenging work?”

    By understanding and sharing how you are viewing a situation, you are essentially owning your own story and – it’s YOUR story. If someone argues with you, gently remind them it’s just your story – it is not right or wrong—just how you see the situation. Another way of framing this is “the story I have been telling myself about this is…” or “the way I am interrupting this is…” It gives the recipient an opportunity to share their story and for you to see that your story might be different from theirs.

    Hope this helps.
    Good luck!
    Susan Brady

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